Cats vs Dogs - The Shocking Results!



Are cats cooler than dogs?  Are dogs more awesomer than cats? While everyone can agree that both cat and dog people are wack, we still want the answer to the age long question –  Which pet is better?

We sent the Mad Cow Science team across the country to conduct interviews, dig up facts and perform wild experiments to bring you the definitive answer.  

Warning: The following results may SHOCK you!



1) PURCHASE PRICE

Dogs: Can cost hundreds or even thousands of dollars to purchase.

Cats: Absolutely FREE – You don’t even have to purchase the happy meal.

Winner: Cat
Margin: Wide

free kittens cats

2) INTELLIGENCE

Dogs: Dog brains are larger and have been growing continuously while cat brains have remained unchanged for the past 8,000 years.  This may be because dogs are social animals, and the more social the animal, the bigger the brain, the smarter the animal.

smart dog plays chess
Cats: While dogs are busy sniffing out cancer, breaking up drug deals and increasing brain power, cats are climbing stuff they can’t get down from.

dumb cat eats cactus
Winner: Dog
Margin: Wide


3) VISITORS

Dogs: An untrained dog will bark, jump-on and slobber all over your guest.

Cats: What cat? Unless your guest is allergic, they probably wont event know you have one.

Winner: Cat
Margin: Landslide

obama dog jumps on child kid


4) PROTECTION

Dogs:  Will bark at intruders and fight off attackers.

Cats: Meow. Prrrr. Reawrrr.

Winner: Dog
Margin: Landslide

dog in shining armor armour

5) CLEANLINESS & SMELLINESS

Dogs: Bad breath & stinky wet fur – Requires constant bathing and brushing.

Cats: Groom themselves daily; however, many will spray for no reason, leaving your home smelling like an ammonia factory.

Winner: Cat
Margin: Narrow

cat clean dog dirty


6) POTTY TIME

Dogs: Need to be walked until they find that “perfect” spot to drop their mess (we didn't count lazy owners who use their front/back yards).

Cats: Scoop litter once a day. Change litter once a week (we didn't count lazy owners that scoop once a week and change litter once a month).

Winner: Cat
Margin: Narrow

cat owns home


7) HEALTH BENEFITS

Dogs: Should be walked (or ran) 3 times per day which means a good dog owner will get plenty of outdoor exercise.

dogs playing with kids
Cats: Have you ever tried to walk a cat?

walking a cat
Winner: Dog
Margin: Landslide


8) COMMUNICATION

Dogs:  Owners speak and signal commands.  A dog will understand and (usually) comply.

Cats: Owners speak with their pets  – usually in a high pitched, whiny gibberish tone.  Cats do not understand, nor do they care.

Winner: Dog
Margin: Landslide

cat doesnt care meme

9) DESTRUCTION

Dogs: Will rip the squeakers out of their toys and chew on your shoes.

Cats: Will rip leather off your sofa, the drapes off your rods, dig a hole through your carpet and shred important documents into teeny tiny little pieces.

Winner: Dog
Margin: Narrow

cat destroys furniture


10) OWNER MENTALITY

Dogs: Usually sane & social – sometimes angry.

Cats: Usually nuts & lonely – sometimes medicated.

Winner: Dog
Margin: Wide

crazy lady cat owner
crazy male cat owner


11) OWNER EDUCATION

Dogs:  Dog owners are slightly more educated in the United States

Cats: Cat owners are slightly more educated in the United Kingdom

Winner: Tie
Margin: n/a

cat and dog owner education

12) LOYALTY

Cats: Loyalty?

cat not loyal leaves home
Dogs: To the very end.

dog loyal hospital

Winner: Dog
Margin: Landslide

Looks like Dogs are the victors with a score of 8 - 5.  Thanks super smart science team!  Sorry cat owners.  We'll run the test again in another 8,000 years.
Posted :   /   by



Comments ()

Did we get it right? Vote in the comments area below.